wine on the keyboard

Stealing blog titles

by Kay~Kacey on 9/3/2005

To admit or not to admit…blantantly stealing from Kelly C’s-Words of a Writer She talks about when she first started telling people she wrote. Mostly after she got an agent.

If you are aspiring, do you tell your friends, family that you are writing? How do they treat you? Do you tell strangers. Is it easier to tell STRANGERS than family and friends??

I’ve said this before, my ex was jerk about my writing. Calculating how many pennies an hour I would end up making if I ever sold, if you take into account how long I’ve been writing. It’s very hard to write and face that kind of constant critisism and devaluing of your time and dreams. :mad2:

My parents used to treat it as my little hobby, but they are starting to realize it’s what I do. They actually ask me how it’s going. And I mention my current story or current rejection :roll:

My dh is super supportive, and I can’t tell you how much of a difference that makes. I suggest everyone go out and get yourself one of those :mrgreen: But even that was a training experience. Talking about my writing. Proposals and completes I had out there. Rejections. What they said. Plot problems (which, I admit, his eyes glaze over there but he tries to help–he’s not very good at it though. His solutions always involve action adventure, murder and sex :rofl: )

My youngest son is my best brainstormer. Come up with the best idea. Asks “have you heard back on XYZ proposal”. His comment on my NEXT submission? “Have you heard back on that old lady line?” Jerkface :love:

I do have some close friends that know I write. :typing: Some ask about. Some don’t.

But you know, I still just would say to people when they asked where I was going when I went to Reno “a convention on business” And most would assume that was dental…

I wonder if I would feel more validated about telling people I’m a writer if I had an agent? So far, I’ve mainly been targeting H/S and haven’t felt the need or desire for an agent. (oh, that’s for another blog post…)

So what about you? Do you tell people you write? Do you tell your family that you write? Your friends? The lady who checks you out at the grocery store? And if you do tell people, when did you start?

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Mary September 3, 2005 at 9:29 am

What a cool blog today. You always have great ideas.

Emma S September 3, 2005 at 9:56 am

I’m just starting to tell people. And I cringe inwardly every time. I’m finding that a lot of people just say “okay” and leave it at that. Only the people that are interested ask further and then I have to explain epublishing (which is another thing all together).

Sometimes I wish I could just keep it all to myself, though, but seeing that I’m not working (though I am writing full time) it makes me look really darn lazy!

Rene September 3, 2005 at 10:11 am

I don’t really tell too many people. I have one friend who has been in the know from the beginning and she has always been my biggest supporter. My husband thinks he is supportive but he isn’t. He will receive no acknowledgments when I publish. My parents only comment if I comment. My BIL knows only because he is a police officer and I needed help on research. He asks frequently how its going. He will receive an acknowledgment when and if I publish. There is another writer mom at my kids’ school that I talk to about writing and she asks, but she writes children’s books, so we don’t have a lot in common.

I think I would be more inclined to talk about it if I landed an agent. Or if I’d finalled in the GH.

Kelly C. September 3, 2005 at 10:40 am

I apparently blab it at odd times, and other times keep my mouth shut. :lol: I do feel a bit more confident sharing now that I have an agent, but like Amy mentioned in my comments, the first question is always, “Are you published?” Then it’s like your entire writer’s journey runs through your head, and I feel like saying, “Are you kidding? Do you know how hard it is to get published???” :wink:

Tori September 3, 2005 at 10:56 am

Like I said on Kelly’s blog, I don’t usually mention it. But I just remembered (how quickly I forget! :useyourhead: ) people I worked with when I was working knew I was writing because I used to write during my lunch hour and they always wanted to know what I was doing. :) They all thought it was cool. :cool2:

Melissa Marsh September 3, 2005 at 11:07 am

My entire family knows I write – probably because I’ve been doing it since the 6th grade. :mrgreen: My parents are very supportive and so is my hubby – that helps A LOT. He is my biggest encourager, too. He always tells me “it will happen” after I receive my latest rejection. Gotta love that guy. :love:
My friends are also very supportive. But I must admit, it does help when people ask me what I do that I also have a day job where I write. :rofl:

Michelle September 3, 2005 at 11:59 am

I never told anybody until this past year. It’s part of my affirmation to myself…If I believe I am a published author, act like I’m one, and have the books to show for it, it’ll happen eventually.

kacey September 3, 2005 at 3:41 pm

Rene, bummer on your dh only thinking he’s being supportive.

Michelle, interesting on how you made it part of your affirmations this year to tell people and act as if. Good positive thinking going on there. I’ve found I talk about it more to my family this last few years. Part of my treat it as a career plan.

Gina September 3, 2005 at 5:39 pm

My family knows I write because I’ve always wrote. Since I was a child. They don’t understand the publishing industry much though, and that makes it hard to explain why I currently get paid so little for doing so much. They are getting better, but it still causes some arguments.

Lory September 3, 2005 at 10:44 pm

I’ve just started to tell people here (other moms at school, etc). We’ve been here a year.
I used to tell everyone I was going to write the Great American Novel but I’ve been saying it for a decade now so they don’t ask so much.
However, the new people I’ve told want to read “it!” One of my 7-year-old nieces is so proud to find that I’m an “author” and wants to know the title of my book!
HAVE to get it done/published now!!!

Peggy September 3, 2005 at 10:54 pm

The only people who know I write is my husband and my children. Hubby is pretty good. The idea has eventually grown on him. He now is getting to the point where I think he believes it will eventually happen. When I got my first request for a full he asked me if it was alright to tell people now that I wrote. So I guess there is a part of him that is proud of me. But he is very much a Monday to Friday, hourly paid kind of guy and we often have to have long discussions over that subject. He definitely prefers security, so I know this living with a person who is a “struggling artist” is difficult.

My biggest supporter is my 12 year old daughter. If I ever got my historical published, she would definitely get credited. Every day she would run home at lunch hour and after school, just to hear what I had wrote that day.

Mary September 4, 2005 at 5:29 pm

Oddly, I do tell the lady who checks me out at the grocery store. I don’t remember how it came up, but when I was heading for NY, she loaned me an evening bag for the GH awards!

Amy K September 4, 2005 at 8:41 pm

It took me about 2 years of writing to admit it to people I didn’t know well. My family knew from the start, and yeah, I think my parents thought it was a hobby. I still have friends who I tell I’ve sold who say, “I didn’t know you’re a writer.” Oops.

Steph T. September 5, 2005 at 10:38 pm

This is a great topic. Might have to steal it for a blog post of my own. But I admit, I have a hard time telling people because of the whole – What have you written, scenario. People get so excited when you tell them you’re a writer and then to have to admit that you don’t have anything in print yet is such a bummer. Because they don’t understand that you’re still a writer even if you’re not published yet.

My friends and family and husband are all really supportive. The only ones who don’t know I’m writing are my in-laws. Because I really want to wait until I have something accepted before I lay it out there. But I have told total strangers – just this week-end, in fact.

Okay – I don’t need my own blog-post on the topic. I’ve left a book here.:smile:

Margery Scott September 6, 2005 at 6:02 am

Great topic, Kacey. People know I write, but I try not to talk about it except to those few who “get it”, ie. other writers, and I absolutely never tell anyone how long I’ve been writing. It’s taken far too long to sell. :wallbash:

Teresa September 6, 2005 at 7:33 am

A timely topic for me because just this weekend I considered telling my mom that I’d received that contract offer from Triskelion. My parents know I write. They know I sold the short story. But I haven’t told them anything else. My husband told a few of his friends and talk about awkward for me because his friend’s wife is one of my best friends and I hadn’t told her that I was writing. Word gets around. So know he asks who can tell. I’m still undecided on who I want in my close circle knowing this about me just yet. My main concern is people at work. I know it would frowned upon.

Kelly September 6, 2005 at 7:49 am

I’ve been telling people since high school when I started writing for the school newspaper. I think saying it out loud and admitting to it made it more real and then there would be no backing down. I was a little nervous about work finding out – I didn’t want them to think ‘oh well she’s just going to leave if she gets published’, but I made sure to also say that keeping the day job would be required since romance writers don’t make a whole heap load of money. Of course I plan to, and then I will quit my day job, but I left that part out. :angel:

kacey September 6, 2005 at 8:26 am

wow, lots of good responses here. Funny who we tell and who we don’t. And why. Sigh. We writers are a weird bunch, aren’t we?? :crazy2:

Jill September 7, 2005 at 7:21 pm

I have never been ashamed of writing romances, but in the same vein, I rarely tell strangers. Unless I know they’re a romance reader.

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