wine on the keyboard

computer jealousy

by Kay~Kacey on 10/31/2005

as an aside…I have been Opening The File and banging away at my proposal…

Now, back to the topic at hand. I see a lot of comments on blogs and the lists about writers hiding out on their computer. That their dh or parents or roommates or kids tell them that they spend too much time on the computer. Or, worse yet, they are accused of messing around on the computer when they are really writing. Like it’s not really work or something.

Or I see comments like “I better get off because the dh doesn’t like me on the computer so much.”

So, is that your life? Do you have to limit your computer time because someone else disapproves? Or are you free to spend whatever time you want?

For the record, my dh never begrudges me my writing time. Not even when he catches me on a blog hop or email break when I’m supposed to be writing… :mrgreen:

I used to have a man in my life…ex man :roll: who would begrudge my computer time. And never value my writing time because I hadn’t sold yet. Well, I still have sold, but my wonderful dh is still very, very supportive of my writing and the time I spend at it.

So, what’s your situation like? Do you have to get off the computer when dh is home? Limit your time? Hide your time? Or do you have a good support system at home?

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Teresa October 31, 2005 at 8:12 pm

I have to be honest. My husband goes through spells where he comments about how much time I spend on the computer. Or he’ll comment that I need to take time off. He tells me he understands but sometimes I really have to wonder if he truly does. Though he has slacked off a lot since I received the contract from Triskelion. I think he goes through this phase mostly when he needs or wants attention and I’m not giving it to him. So if he makes me feel guilty enough I’ll cave.

Teresa October 31, 2005 at 8:14 pm

That kind of sounded like he doesn’t support me. Which isn’t true. He does. He’s great. He just has spells where all I hear is :blah:. Not as much as before.

Kelly C. October 31, 2005 at 11:48 pm

I try to limit my computer time from when the hubby gets off work until the kids are in bed. Somewhat of a family time since I have all day to sit at the computer while they are out. Not that he isn’t supportive, just trying to compromise. But I still sneak in email checks. :angel:

Amy K November 1, 2005 at 1:11 am

My hubby is very supportive. He only gives me static when I get up immediately after a meal, aka before the kitchen is cleaned, and head upstairs to check email. :mrgreen:

Katie November 1, 2005 at 5:57 am

My computer’s in the room where the kids watch tv and play witht their legos and puzzles and things. I usually just leave it open and pop on and off whenever I want. Amazing what you can get done in ten and fifteen minutes spans. And its also amazing how much you can’t get done in the same amount of time. :confused:

Michelle November 1, 2005 at 6:50 am

My dh only gives me grief when I haven’t been giving him as much attention as I should. Mostly when he’s watching sports, he’ll ask, “Aren’t you going to go write?” :love:

Kelly November 1, 2005 at 8:33 am

I’m single so I don’t have the problem of someone making me feel like I shouldn’t be on the computer or not supporting my writing. And god help the man who ever tries to pull that on me because he’ll be shown the door so quick it won’t even have time to hit him on the ass as he’s booted down my very steep steps. Huh…you know…maybe there’s a reason I’m still single…:roll:

kacey November 1, 2005 at 8:36 am

hm, I wonder how many men stop and think…”hey am I giving my wife enough attention?” :rofl:

Teresa November 1, 2005 at 9:02 am

I’m really luck cause my dh is VERY understanding about me and my computer. :typing: Very supportive of my writing. Also, he works a lot of weird shifts, so I get plenty of time by myself to work. I DO, however, try to take time with him when he’s home and not doing his own stuff. He’s still my #1 priority :-)

Mary November 1, 2005 at 9:05 am

I try to limit myself on the computer. I’d work all the time if I didn’t.

Le Ellis November 1, 2005 at 10:06 am

I limit myself due to my other responsibilities. My dh is VERY supportive and never complains. My kids just need time with me, but they don’t complain, so I write early or in the evening.

Caro November 1, 2005 at 10:28 am

My husband complains I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time writing. I’ll be playing and he’ll ask, “What are you doing? Have you done your pages?”

But then, he swears I’m easier to get along with if I’m writing and have easy access to the computer.

Rene November 1, 2005 at 11:47 am

Oh, good topic. I know hubby thinks I spend all my time on the computer…and he’s right. I keep my laptop on my kitchen counter and because we have dsl, the Internet is alway up. So during the day, I will come by, read some blogs, post on some blogs, work on my WIP, read email, etc. etc. I think most of the time he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want me back at the desktop when he is home because any time we have alone together is so rare, he wants me to be there with him.

But for me, the computer is the one thing that is for me and only me. The ones who resent my time on the pc are the kids. Because I am not slavishly doing something for them, the get jealous of the pc.

Emma Sinclair November 1, 2005 at 12:58 pm

After dinner, the dh and I move to our separate computers for the evening (luckily we live in a small apartment so we’re not that far away from one another) or occasionally sit on the couch with our laptops together. It’s the plus side of living with a computer geek.

Melissa November 1, 2005 at 1:51 pm

Since I’m on the computer all day at work, I usually wait until hubby is in bed to work at home. He is VERY supportive of my writing – he’s my biggest cheerleader.

Tori November 1, 2005 at 2:09 pm

No dh to deal with, so that’s cool. And my parents don’t really care how much time I spend on the computer. But they annoy me because they think of it as “playing”. :roll:

Sharon November 2, 2005 at 9:06 am

Count me in on the geek factor lol. My husband and I both have laptops so we sit in the living room in the evenings with them open. We IM a lot which is kind of amusing considering we’re sitting 5 feet from each other :lol:

And no he doesn’t complain, but then neither of us gets on the computer in the evenings until “family time” aka the kids going to bed is over.

I will say in the beginning, as in back when I first started spending a lot of time on the computer there was a bit of a getting used to on his part, but after awhile he adapted quite nicely ;)

LauraP November 2, 2005 at 9:48 am

Hey, I’m married to a computer geek who knows how lucky he is to have such a supportive wife. Not that he came out of the box that way, but in 23 years even a man can learn a thing or two.

Cece November 2, 2005 at 5:17 pm

No hubby just kids and I do try to spend time with them in the evening. I usually check mail while dinner’s cooking :grin:

If I were still married to my ex, there’d be no computer time because he was (and still is) an attention hog. So was my last boyfriend. I used to run an online adoption registry and he’d think I was cheating on him. No wonder I swore off men. :angry:

Margery November 2, 2005 at 6:33 pm

My husband might comment now and then about how much time I spend on the computer, but only when I comment on how much time he spends fishing. Really, he’s quite happy that he has control of the remote and that I’m not making lists of chores for him to do.

Steph T. November 4, 2005 at 12:20 pm

My husband’s supportive too (really, the more time I spend on the computer, the less time I have to make lists of things for him to do :rofl)

My parents are the ones who think I’m just playing all day on the computer, which drives me a little crazy. Luckily, I won’t be living here for too much longer (20-ish days and counting before house construction hell is over!!)

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