WineontheKeyboard

So I’ve been struggling and struggling with my proposal. I can’t get anything right in it. Truthfully? It sucks. So yesterday I decide to take a and wallow in self pity…So I was leafing through magazines and BAM a great idea came to me. Different. Twisty. So I think, cool. Maybe my muse hasn’t deserted me. Then BAM, another idea. Okay, I was almost spooked then. Then a THIRD idea came. By then I was truly freaked and got out of the tub So as I was getting dressed and picking up my room, a FOURTH idea burst into my head.

What was that all about?? I usually have to think and think and wallow in a story. But here were 4 good marketable ideas in like 30 minutes. (okay, an hour…I took a very long bath). So I hurried downstairs and wrote out all the details I know for all 4 stories. I’m going to start working on one of them today. Maybe my muse was trying to show me I was forcing a story (the old proposal) I didn’t love just because it would fit the line I was targetting???

Do you ever give up on something after hammering on it for a month because your heart just isn’t into the story? I’m really excited about my new ideas and will pick one of them to write on. I usually don’t let myself quit on something I’ve started, but I’ve come to the realization that my proposal just wasn’t working, and that’s why I was having so much trouble with it.

I wonder what my muse looks like? Maybe a little sprite that sits on my shoulder, dressed in a red tinkerbellish outfit nagging me, pushing me, taunting me…and sometimes hiding from me…

Old Ramblings by Kacey
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Do you ever get discouraged. You know the kind…where you think it’s NEVER going to happen? That you’ll never sell? That people all around you are saying stuff like “I just sold my first book…it was the first manuscript I wrote”. Or other annoying stuff like that

I’ve been in this funk this fall. I’ve been writing for years. Seriously writing and pursuing publication for over 15 years. (okay, a few dry spells when life got crazy, but really, most of the 15 years I’ve been writing) I get close, I get further away. I think my writing must suck and that’s why it hasn’t happened. I think I’m not wanting it hard enough. (no, I don’t really think that, because I REALLY REALLY want it). I think I’m just not lucky…but then I think people make their own luck.

I guess I’m just really ready for my luck to change. For all the “luck” I’m making for myself to, you know, actually lead to a sale. My writing output has been uncharacteristically pathetic this fall. Even when I do write, I end up throwing most of it out. I haven’t had a “flow” writing experience in months. More like just plodding along. Word by word.

I’ve done affirmations. I’ve pasted up motivational quotes. (btw, I added more to the random ones that come up on my sidebar). I’ve forced myself to keep writing. I’ve quit counting the days on my submissions out there. I keep telling myself I’m a writer.

But dammit, sometimes it just really, really gets to me that it’s taking so long! Would I have started down this road to pursuing publication if I’d have known I’d still be in this spot 12-15 years later??? I know my writing has improved. I get “better rejections” (an oxymoron). I picture myself as a published author. But, you know, it’s been a long time. People who sell in a year or two or five have no idea what this is like. Does that mean they have more talent? Better luck? That they are better writers?

Anyway, it’s been a long, long time…and I’m ready for the times to get better…

Old Ramblings by Kacey
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I have naming problems. Yes, my kitties are still Pink and Green for the time being. I want to name my new car, but haven’t settled on anything…

so I guess it comes as no surprise I have a hard time naming my characters either. I keep trying to use Isabelle as a heroine’s name…I’ve started with that name on the last 3 proposals. It’s never Isabelle by the time I’ve rewritten the three chapters a bazillion times. No surprise I’m on the third rewrite of this proposal. She’s no longer Isabelle, but I can’t find the right name for her. I sometimes even go here and look up names that were popular around the time the character was born.

Sometimes it’s the herione’s name…sometimes it’s the hero who won’t let me name him. This time the hero is Noah. I know that. It fits, it’s right. I have this sister’s name, his best friend’s name. The herione’s mother’s name. Just not the heroine’s name. I got so ticked off the last rewrite of the first chapter I kept writing: “The heroine with no name slammed the door and sank onto the hard wooden chair.” “The herone who refuses to be named crossed the room.” No wonder I’m having such a hard time with this first chapter:angry: I obviously don’t have a real firm grasp on this character just yet…

So I rewrite the first chapter and move on to the second, and third. And probably will rewrite the beginning yet again. By then I’ll be deep enough into my character to actually name her. I hope. Because I’m thinking sending in a proposal about refuses to be named heroine is probably not going to sell…

Do you have problems naming your characters? Do you have to have a name before you type the first word? Do you ever change the character’s name after writing a bit of the book?

Old Ramblings by Kacey
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