wine on the keyboard

In a Reflective Mood

by Kay~Kacey on 4/30/2008

Do you ever get in a reflective mood?
glass ball reflecting on table

Ever wonder what would have happened if you made different decisions in your life? Like what you studied in school? What house you decided to buy? What person you decided to marry?

reflections in revo sunglasses

You don’t get do-overs in life, of course, but sometimes you do make better decisions the second time around. Like me marrying SuperGuy. :love:

When in I get in these reflective moods I often wonder what I would have changed in my life. But then I realize that all the choices that I made in my life led me to where I am today, and the person I am today. There are things I wish I had done in my life though. Three off the top of my head:

3 Things I wish I had done/had happened differently

1) taken photography in college (no surprise there)
2) moved out of the city before becoming so entrenched here
3) had a daughter (like that was out of my control)

Not that any of these are out of my reach now. Well, I can’t move right now because we have too many responsibilities here, but eventually we can move. Can’t have a daughter now, that ship has sailed. Who knows though, the boys will marry. Maybe one of their wives will seem like a daughter to me. And, of course, I can still take a photography course.

flowers in reflection ball Though I’m not really sad about any of the things that didn’t turn out exactly how I expected in my life. It led me to where I am now. I’m a very happy person now. I wonder if women just seem to know more what they want and go after it at this stage of life? I’ve met more women in their mid 40’s through their 50’s and into their 60’s who seem to be much happier than they were at any other stage of life. I wonder why that is? I know I care less now about what other people think about my decisions. I have a bit more time to pursue the things that interest me. It’s a really good stage of life to be in right now. (knock on wood).

How about you? When you reflect back on your life, what do you wish you had done differently? Or do you? Are you glad you made the choices you did? Anything you’d like a do-over on?

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Gabrielle April 30, 2008 at 6:49 am

I was reading an article the other day that said older people are happier. And yes, I think it’s because most just don’t care anymore what people think. :secret: Good on ‘em!

LauraP April 30, 2008 at 7:04 am

Not caring so much what people think . . . yeah, that helps. I saw how well it worked for my grandfather, and maybe I’ll not care so much but be a little more thoughtful about it. :mrgreen: Wish I’d learned certain lessons sooner. Oh well. As you said, all those choices led to this point, and it’s a happy place..

mary April 30, 2008 at 7:05 am

When we were young, my husband had this friend I always found annoying — he was such an overachiever, he made me feel like I was wasting my life. He ran a marathon and opened his own law firm, among other things.

And now (25 years later) it is closed and he has heart problems. At the time, I felt that staying home and raising children was somehow wasting my talents, but now I see that in spite of everything, I didn’t do such a bad job of it. I would love to take some art and photography classes, though — I do regret not developing my interest in art all these years.

Great post, Kacey!
xoxo,
Mary

Becky April 30, 2008 at 7:15 am

I would not have married and had children so young. I wish I would have waited. Then maybe I would have married the man I have now. I believe I would have been a lot happier throughout this life. :wink:

Margie April 30, 2008 at 7:38 am

Oh you really hit the nail on the head with this one! Sometimes I look back and wish I had done things differently. But I don’t think about that as much as I used to. As you pointed out, it is all a learning experience that has brought me to where I am today. And I’m really in a good place right now.

Treasia April 30, 2008 at 8:51 am

My thoughts on this are the same as Becky’s. Waited on children and hopefully married the man I am married to now.

ellen b April 30, 2008 at 9:00 am

What a wonderful post. Your reflective shots are amazing. I am more content at 57 than I ever was. I do hope you are blessed with a daughter-in-law that will love and cherish your family. Blessings…

Christine April 30, 2008 at 9:04 am

I know that the choices in my life have led up to who I am now. But when I look back I often wonder… how would my life have changed if I didn’t squander my full scholarship and actually finished college? If I would have made a wiser decision in NOT marrying my exhusband but then I would not have had my beautiful oldest daughter. I can pinpoint how virtually every wrong decision made turned for good in my life eventually. And more importantly, I have learned the lesson that everything really does “work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Great post Kacey

Mental P Mama April 30, 2008 at 9:49 am

Great post Kacey. I agree, and want to add that even my regrets have a purpose in my life. Every thing I’ve done and left undone is part and parcel of me. And I still have a looong way to go. Knock wood. Thanks for the reminder. :typing:

Country Girl April 30, 2008 at 10:20 am

I saw something on TV that said by and large, older people are happier. Guess that’s it, right? My in-laws are pretty happy, they get to travel, attend their grandchildren’s graduations, and will someday become great grandparents.

But me, yes, there are some things I would change. I wish I had more children. I wish I could fix whatever is wrong with my youngest son. I wish I owned our own home and had more money to do so.

I mean, all the fame from my blog just isn’t enough. I want more.

(I am so kidding about that last statement!!!!!)

Jeannelle April 30, 2008 at 12:22 pm

“Regrets over the past and fear of the future rob us of the present.”

(I recently saw that quote somewhere and liked it.)

Melissa Marsh April 30, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Great post. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, I drove to my mom’s house bawling my eyes out because I was NOT supposed to be married, pregnant, and with two stepkids at this stage in my life. I was SUPPOSED to be in Ireland going to grad school or living in Europe and having adventures. But then I wouldn’t have my daughter and gone through a lot of other things that have shaped me into who I am.

But I love where I’m at right now – every choice I have made has turned into good, even though it might not have been smart when I made it the first time around.

To my way of thinking, everything happens for a reason.

TSannieBB April 30, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Even the things I would change – I wouldn’t. Every change affect the outcome of ones life and after all these years, I’d still choose to be right where I am right now. Past warts and all.

dlyn April 30, 2008 at 2:22 pm

At 53, I am quite contented with most of the circumstances of my life. The one big thing I would change would be to have taken better care of myself – eaten better, gotten more consistant exercise etc. I smoked for 30 years before I quit and I would change that if I could. I am not in bad shape really, but it could be better.

Love the reflection pics – very nice!

Shirley April 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm

I think one reason we are happier and more content when we get older is because we’ve done the hardest part already. All those responsibilities of youth. I just don’t feel so responsible for every thing and every one any more. I get to do things for ME.

But all in all, all of the parts of me(good, bad, indifferent)make the whole of me. And if there’s someone out there that doesn’t like that, well, :biteme:

Suzanne April 30, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I’d rather be how old I am now, knowing what I know now, than going back to being young and ignorant! It’s true what they say about youth being wasted on the young, LOL.

Connie April 30, 2008 at 6:58 pm

I used to reflect on my life and wonder, but I don’t anymore. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. My husband and I got married young, had children young, neither of us went to college and waited years before we bought our first home. The entire opposite of what the status quo says to do these days. Everything turned out wonderful. The only thing that I regret is that I smoked cigarettes. I quit 7 years ago and fell better than ever.

Elizabeth April 30, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Great post. It’s hard to say–there are a hundred decisions I wish I had made differently, but each step (wrong though it may have been) led me to where I am today, which is a good place. And there are many decisions still to come–hopefully I’ll make some good ones!

Amy Addison May 1, 2008 at 12:55 am

There are some moments when my children were really little I might like to redo, but everything else? Well…if I redid it, and did things differently, I would have wound up somewhere else. And I like where I am. I can’t imagine not having 13 or 9 or Husband. Those reflective moments really make me appreciate the way things are.

WillThink4Wine May 1, 2008 at 4:45 am

Great post, Kacey!

While I am content now, my life isn’t anywhere near what I hoped it would be. A failed marriage after 27 years, unsuccessful in 15 years in a fertility program resulting in many failed pregnancies. Mr. X did not want to adopt. I hear my sister complaining about her teenagers and I say, “Oh really? I’ll gladly trade with you”!

There are definitely choices I made that I sometimes wish I could do-over. I should have left Mr. X years earlier and adopted myself! ::sigh::

I hope your future DIL’s are like daughter’s to you! But never forget to count your blessings. :smile:

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