wine on the keyboard

By the Time a Woman turns 50

by Kay~Kacey on 8/25/2008

By the time a woman is 50:

–she should have made peace with her past, and be looking forward to her future.

–she should have some money of her own.

–she should have a special place to go when she just can’t take it anymore and she needs to recharge.

–she should know the value of a dollar and when to say screw it and spend frivolously…it’s sometimes good for the soul.

–she should have learned how to give of herself without giving up herself.

–she should have at least one girlfriend who is always there for her. No matter what. The one you can pick up the phone at 3am and call if you need to and she’ll say “I’ll be right there.” Whether she’s across town or across the country.

–she should know her opinions about politics, religion and life… and know when there’s really no reason to voice them.

–she should accept her family members for who they are, know they won’t change, and live with that fact…in whatever way she can.

–she should have some decadent lingerie, a sexy pair of heels, and a comfortable pair of jeans.

–she should have a hobby she indulges in, a creative outlet she nourishes, and the courage to make time for them.

–she should have learned to live on her own, even if she doesn’t live alone.

–she should have learned to like herself and forgive herself.

–she should have someone in her life who truly appreciates her for the person she really is.

What do you think a woman should know by the time she is 50?

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

Dru August 25, 2008 at 5:05 am

that her happiness is there for the taking

Mental P Mama August 25, 2008 at 7:32 am

That if you put all your troubles in a basket with everyone else’s, you’d still pick yours to take back!

Suzette August 25, 2008 at 8:04 am

She should know that it’s never too late. I can’t begin to tell you the major life changes I have gone through since turning 50. When I was younger, I envisioned me rocking on the front porch by that age. Uh….no. Not even remotely. Life doesn’t begin at 50, but it sure as heck ain’t over, either!

Treasia August 25, 2008 at 9:09 am

She should know that it’s not up to others to make her happy but to learn how to make herself happy.

She should know how and when to pick her battles.

She should know that at 50 she can speak her mind and it honestly does not matter what anyone thinks.

Katharina August 25, 2008 at 10:02 am

She should be comfortable with herself and not care about impressing others.

She should be able to live the good life and not feel any need to brag about it , or defend it, to anyone.

MamáChanga August 25, 2008 at 2:40 pm

By the time a woman turns 50, she should know that there aren’t any regrets in life, only lessons learned.

…she should know that where she is at during this exact moment in time is a result of all the choices she made in life.

…she should know that “today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.”

…she should know that every day she has been alive is a day of celebration!

ELK August 25, 2008 at 2:45 pm

that she has made a difference

that she is OK the way she is

how fast time goes

Kathy August 25, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Cool! I turned 50 this year and I can honestly say I have all these things. Never seen this list before but it’s so true!

Kacey August 25, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Dru! I love “her happiness is there for the taking!” Wish I would have thought of that.

You guys have lots of great additions to my list!

Flea August 25, 2008 at 4:34 pm

I love your list! My only exception to it is that I find myself knowing my opinions of politics, religion and life less as I age. Granted, I’m only 40. Still. I was far more dogmatic in my 20’s and early 30’s. I find, now, that I’m more open, more empathetic, less strident. Also, less sure of firm footing on many things.

That said, there are a few certainties, a few black and white areas, which ground all the rest. Which give me the foundation for empathy and openness. Does that make sense?

This Eclectic Life August 25, 2008 at 6:34 pm

She should know a really good hairdresser? :roll:

dlyn August 25, 2008 at 8:17 pm

She should know what she doesn’t know.

vodkamom August 25, 2008 at 8:54 pm

she should have had a pedicure, and not feel guilty…
she will have learned not to judge others until she has walked in their shoes.
she will know that one act of kindness is the best picker-upper.
she will know that she is worthy… yep, she is worthy.

vodkamom August 25, 2008 at 8:55 pm

Crap- i’ve got one year and one week left….i better get a move on…. :grin:

mp August 27, 2008 at 1:37 pm

I am NOT there yet..all great goals..8 years to go.

spread your wings November 21, 2008 at 2:27 pm

just reached that 50 mark wednesday. and i think i can check off MOST of the things on your list. I’ve enjoyed reading the others comments. this is one of my favorites:
“She should know that it’s not up to others to make her happy but to learn how to make herself happy.”

Fiona November 28, 2008 at 12:33 am

I have had a whole year and two weeks of being 50 already… and my partner commented recently – “your children are not the centre of your world”… and i realise he is right – they are adults now and i adore all four of them, but I realised a while ago that I had to make my own life – so I guess it is one thing I had managed before I turned 50.

Nannette December 30, 2008 at 6:33 pm

I am not quite 50 but nice to know I have those things. Maybe I’m older than I think.

Ann from Montana January 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm

That “should” is part of the vocabulary to be abandoned.

I’ve seen this blog on many blogrolls and clicked over today. And as I’m 53, I looked at this post. I’m very late to the comment section and wasn’t going to comment, but the post and the comments bothered me.

I was completely taken aback by the “should” this and “should” that. Isn’t that what got/gets a lot of people and particularly women, into a troubled mindset – a living less than authentically, not true to oneself – mindset?

Banishing “should” from my vocabulary freed me to fully live.

I understand that the idea is that as we mature we come to certain realizations. The idea that we “should” all have come to the same realizations and/or accomplishments at a particular age I find disturbing. Is it any different than expecting every child to walk, talk or be potty trained by a certain age?

Kacey January 12, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Ann, interesting perspective. These were just my thoughts on things that are great to learn as a woman grows older. Of course, other people had lessons they thought were nice to learn as we age too.

for the record, I was SO not into have my kids do things by a certain age. I see what you’re saying though.

I still think these are all good lessons to learn. At any age.

wildwoman February 13, 2010 at 7:19 am

March 21 is the day for me! I love this and would like to add HOOWWLLLL AT THE MOOOOOON!

I am learning “She should know that it’s not up to others to make her happy but to learn how to make herself happy.”

Thanks Everyone!

Tina March 29, 2011 at 6:23 pm

I must return and read this again on July 1st. I’ll reach 50 that day :)

corrina October 19, 2011 at 8:37 pm

thank our stars we made it this far!!

Melina June 15, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I loved the one that says ” you should know your opinions on politics, religion, etc……yet, know when to voice them.’ Too often, all “intelligent” beings get caught up in trying to convince or defend their point of view. A truly confident person, who has learned life’s valuable lessons, has learned not to take things too seriously, and to forgo the challenge of convincing anyone of anything.

Regarding Ann and the “should” part, I believe it’s paramount to the whole notion of progress and relating to some kind of structure that helps us evaluate our road. “Should” doesn’t mean “requirement.” It’s like a sign that guides us towards evolving and shedding old and tired pre-conceptions. The “should” helps us grasp that next step towards self-actualization…..and, hopefully, the concepts that are more in line with who and what we really want to be….

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