wine on the keyboard

A Mother’s Dilemma

by Kay~Kacey on 4/16/2008

Yes, I’m facing the ultimate mother’s dilemma. I don’t want to choose either option, because neither one works.

See this cute pic of The Impish One on his first day of high school?

first day of high school

Four years ago. So young. So cute.

geeky one with girlfriend

See The Geeky One and his Adorable Girlfriend of 5 years?

Well The Impish One graduates high school on the same day The Geeky One graduates from college.

At the same exact time.

In two different cities… :wallbash:

What’s a mother to do??

To add to it, Adorable Girlfriend graduates at the same time as The Geeky One, so she won’t be at his graduation.

Impishis One and fish

They’ve grown from these cute boys and turned into fine men. Usually. 😉

I cannot bear to make this decision. I can only be at one graduation, in one city. I want to just go crawl under the covers and hide until May is over. So far I’m just avoiding the whole thing… High School graduations in our town are A. Big. Deal. Everyone always asks “where’d you go to high school.” It’s like a city wide thing. But graduating from college with darn fine grades in Engineering is no small feat either.

I am not going to make a decision. I’m just going to avoid it. Why, WHY did these schools do this to me?? Mother’s shouldn’t have to choose between sons.

the choice

So what in the world am I supposed to do?? Life is not fair sometimes. I don’t want to make this decision. If you look up the word dilemma in the dictionary, you’ll see this tale there as the definition.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Jeannelle April 16, 2008 at 6:41 am

Kacey——Oh, that is a dilemma. On the wall above my computer is a plaque which says, “Opportunity in often Found in the Middle of a Dilemma”. But, that thought is not much help either, unless one considers being pulled two directions an opportunity.

You’ll have to attend one and send someone with a video camera to the other. Congrats to you and your sons on these special milestones in their lives!

Amy April 16, 2008 at 6:59 am


Now is when YOU need to be cloned! Oh, my … I’d be stressing big time. I have no advice for you, because this IS a major dilemma. Please keep us posted on your decision. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.

Becky April 16, 2008 at 7:13 am

I feel for ya! :wtf: Not fair at all!
The only option I see is…
You go to one and take lots of pics.
Send Dad to the other and take lots of pics.
Good luck! It will work out. :angel:

Treasia April 16, 2008 at 8:39 am

First off congratulations on such big achievements for you sons.

Secondly, I feel for you on this decision. That has got to be a tough one to make. My only advice is send hubby to which ever one you are unable to attend and video tape it.

Suzanne April 16, 2008 at 9:04 am

That sucks!!!! I’m sorry. I have no good suggestions. maybe get sick and not go to either one? 😈

Melissa Marsh April 16, 2008 at 9:54 am

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I don’t know what to tell you!

Something similar happened when I graduated from college – I graduated on a Saturday and my little brother graduated from high school the next day, on a Sunday, so we had a combined reception that day in our home town. It was a very busy weekend, but thankfully, our parents could go to both.

I agree with the videotaping idea – guess you two will have to split up!

Melissa Marsh April 16, 2008 at 9:56 am

Ok, now that I think about it a bit more…I would choose to go to the high school graduation. Not that you WANT to choose, but high school graduation is a lot different than college because high school signifies the end of childhood in a way, and signifies your child leaving the nest. It’s a much more emotional type of ceremony than a college graduation.

Country Girl April 16, 2008 at 10:05 am

Kacey, both of these graduations are significant. They are both really important. My advice is to choose one and you go to that. Take some family. Send Super Guy to the other, with some family. Take pictures. Take a video, even. But they both need to be attended.

You asked, so I’m talkin’!

Graduation from our high school is a HUGE deal. And my son’s graduation from college with a BS in architecture was huge, too. John Grisham was the keynote speaker! Anyway, what I’m saying is that you and SG may have to split up. You’re not the first person this has happened to. My friends had to do the same thing years ago.

I am so sorry this has happened. Graduation should be a fun time, not a totally stressful one!

Take care and good luck with the decision.

Shimmy Mom April 16, 2008 at 10:05 am

Oh that stinks!!!
The only things I can think of is:
#1 you don’t go to either, have someone video them for you. (Not a good idea in my mind, but an option) #2 you go to one and Super Guy goes to the other one. They’re both old enough to understand scheduling conflicts.

On the bright side, you have a lot to be proud of with your sons. Tell them both Congratulations!

Tori Lennox April 16, 2008 at 10:41 am

*hugs* Kacey!!! That totally stinks!!!

Amy Addison April 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

What a dilemma! I totally feel for you! {{{hugs}}}

Have the boys weighed in? They are certainly both old enough to understand the problem.

Our divide and conquer approach usually works…Husband takes the camera with strict instructions to video EVERYTHING at the event I’m not attending. And I snap enough stills where I am that if we run the slide show really fast, it looks like 40s film footage…. Another option: two video cameras….because SuperGuy can’t be at both events, either.

Really, why didn’t the schools check with you FIRST?

Queen Of Planet Hot Flash April 16, 2008 at 11:05 am

Oh Man …. :cursing: I can understand your anxiety you love them both and want to be there for their great achievements in life, since you have attended one graduation for 1st son, I would send Dad with a video camera, digital camera and photograph camera to 1st sons graduation and you attend 2nd sons for his 1st milestone and bring all the cameras too. Then throw them both a huge fiesta so all can join in congratulating them :beer:

Mental P Mama April 16, 2008 at 11:30 am

Ugh. My twins have often had competing activities. It sucks. Super Guy and you will have to split duty here. Did I tell you this sucks? :wtf:

Shirley April 16, 2008 at 1:13 pm

You could put both names in a hat and hope you don’t draw out the hat size.

Or since this is the imp’s first graduation, you could reason this is the best option..

And by all means send a video camera to the one you can’t attend.

WillThink4Wine April 16, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Crapity, crap, crap.

One of my sisters has a daughter in college (3 hours away). a teenage son in High School, and twin 8 year old sons, one is Autistic with special needs. Her hubby is a cop who usually works 4 days of 16 hour shifts, then major sleepathons. She’s is always facing scheduling nightmares.

Obviously. you & SuperGuy will have to divide up, unless the agenda changes. Ask the boys for their preferences. Maybe have a family raffle of sorts, draw names out of a hat, choose straws?

Crapity, crap, crap.

mary April 16, 2008 at 3:21 pm

That sucks! I’d try the cloning thing if I were you. Does the college have another function (like a breakfast or something) that you could attend on a different day?
So sorry…

Kacey April 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm

LOL, did I mention my video camera is broken??? :wallbash:

JHS April 20, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at Vanilla Joy. The Carnival will be live tomorrow, Monday, April 21, 2008, so stop by and check out all of the other wonderful submissions!

There are no words for how much that sucks. :cursing: I would be beyond angry. Can you send a good friend or relative who has a video camera to one graduation and attend the other?

And how to decide which one to attend? I think I would go to the high school grad. on the ground that you attended the older boy’s high school grad. and so you are being fair by attending the younger one’s grad. now. College is not as big a deal, usually. Heck, I didn’t even bother going to one of my college graduations. Nobody did. So that’s how I would resolve it. I’ll be anxious to hear what you do.

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