aging

My mother’s hands. I look down at my hands resting on the keyboard…and I am shocked. I have my mother’s hands. When did this happen? The extra skin and wrinkles. The visible veins. The beginning of age spots. Heck, the brittle nails.

How does this aging process slip up so silently, until, suddenly something shocks you into reality?

The past few months–okay, most of this year–I’ve been a bit on a downer about getting older. I don’t know why, because, honestly, up until this year I reveled in my age. Saw it as a sign that I had LIVED. Felt like I could still do anything I wanted. I was rather obnoxious in my 40’s, running around saying Forties are Fabulous to anyone who would listen (and those who didn’t really want to listen.) I didn’t even mind turning 50. So what was my problem this year?

Stress and life and mortality seemed to hover and swirl around me and begin to swallow me up. I mostly put on a good face about it, but in quiet moments it was really getting to me. Then this last week I “threw my back out”. If that isn’t the epitome of getting old. I picked up a huge basket of laundry and turned at the same time. I know, stupid. Out went my back. So a week of muscle relaxers and heating pads later I’m finally feeling some better.

But this whole episode got me thinking. After spending two or three days whining in email to my friends. (thanks for being there for me!). I’m doing an attitude adjustment. Now. Right now.

I wouldn’t really trade this stage of life for any other stage…so why am I wallowing? I seriously don’t mind the gray hair. And if I did, I sure could fix that. I don’t really mind a few wrinkles. I can sure get more healthy and fit than I am now–and I’m not in too bad of shape, so that’s within my own power. My hair is a bit squirrelly right now, but that’s because I’m in the middle of growing my hair out. My youngest left for college, but The Geeky One moved in while looking for a house to buy, so I’m not quite empty nest yet either. So what’s my problem?

I’ve taken up photography in earnest this year and really feel like I’ve honed my skill quite a bit. I love blogging and blog hopping and working from home now. I have more time for myself, time to write, and time to pursue my dreams. So why did I let myself take this slow road to “I’m so old” instead of “I’m aging great and I love this stage of life.” Which I do. I’m really not much of a pity party person, and get annoyed at others who indulge in the whole pity party mentality. Yet, I allowed myself to indulge in it quietly, silently, when I was alone with my thoughts.

When I was younger, I used to be a more negative thinker, but in the last 10-15 years or so, I think I’ve really become a positive person. So, why, this year, did I allow myself to slip back into the negative when I was deep into my own thoughts, skimming negative thoughts just beneath the surface?

But this week, while I was forced into doing not much but watch TV, read, and knit…I did a lot of thinking. Things are different now, but not bad different. I do get shocked occasionally when I look in the mirror, or glance down at my hands, or don’t have quite the stamina I used to have. But is that bad? To still, in my mind, think of myself as a younger person? I think that’s okay. Age is really quite a bit just a mindset. Haven’t you met really old 60 year olds, and really young 80 year olds?

I’m not sure why the aging process hung over me so much this year, and why I was fighting it…or maybe afraid of it. Which was kind of silly, since I was really ENJOYING the freedom I’m having at this age.

So I looked getting older straight in the face this week…and I think I won the months long battle. I realized that while the changes sometimes shock me when least expected, that I don’t really mind them. Why did it take me so long to realize this? They are just differences, not problems.

I read some quotes in a recent MORE magazine that I’d like to share with you. Women who have an excellent attitude about aging. Just like I do now.

“Yes, it really sucks to lose your youthful looks. But by the same token, I know that at the age of 43, I have never felt better in my life. Much more grounded, and very sexy. I feel like a juicy piece of fruit.” ~Sela Ward

“Growing older is a nice feeling. It’s something people don’t talk about. They only talk about wrinkles.” ~Isabella Rossellini

And a few other aging quotes:

“I want to die young at a ripe old age.” ~Ashley Montagu

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~ Sophia Loren

You can fight aging–fight the current– or you can jump into the rushing stream and bask in the ride and revel in the scenery. ~Kacey 😉

How about you? How are you dealing with the whole aging thing? Fighting it? Hiding it? Enjoying it? Haven’t quite come to terms with it?

Yes, eventually we all get to that stage. The reading glasses stage. I’ve been there for a few years. Some of this baby boomer aging stuff is not all it’s cracked up to be. Drives me crazy to strain to see small print. Like tonight when I made my instant chocolate fix. Was that 1/4 c water or 1/3 cup? Like they thought I could read that small print?

Oh, and people with small fonts on their websites? Do NOT get me started. It won’t be pretty. Especially when reading on my laptop.

Well, I decided that if I had to wear reading glasses, they were going to make a statement. No barely there wire frame ones for me.

It does annoy me to have to dig them out of my purse to read labels at the grocery store, the menus at restaurants, and back cover copy of books at the bookstore, but I’ve learned to adjust. I carry glasses in my purse. In my car. I have them strategically placed all over the house. Kind of reminds me how I would strategically place pacifiers all around my oldest son in his crib, hoping he’d find them and I would get just a few more minutes of sleep. I’d do anything for five minutes of sleep when he was a baby. (The Photographer One. He’s grown a bit, huh?)

But I digress…back to reading glasses.

These are my favorite ones. I keep them in my purse all the time. Aren’t they fabulous? I look smashing in them! (As an aside, this is an old photo. The glass are resting on a PC laptop. I’m so a Mac girl now!)

So do you have to wear reading glasses yet? Do you have really cool ones? I say go full steam ahead with the aging thing. Age is just a mindset! You’re as young as you want to be.