by Kay~Kacey on 8/20/2008
My son’s independence, and my independence.
I’m writing this on Tuesday afternoon. Here is the pile of things that The Impish One has ready to go to college. You know. Leaving Wednesday morning.
Yes, I know. Disengage.
I’m fully aware he will actually be packed up some time on Wednesday to be driven to college. I’m trying to bite my tongue and let him do it on his schedule. (if males really ever do have a schedule for anything…) Do males ever do anything in advance? Well, the ones in my house don’t.
Ah, well. Maybe this is a bit of a start of my independence too… let him figure out the whole packing for college thing. Think he’ll remember to pack towels??
Any guesses on what he will forget to bring with him?? Check my Twitter on Wednesday and I’ll keep you updated on the big move to college…
EDITED TO ADD: If you’re not on Twitter but want to follow my adventure today, I added my twitter updates to my sidebar see?? —>
by Kay~Kacey on 8/19/2008
So I’m dealing with my youngest heading to college this week…
In a very mature
and totally healthy manner.
(Who knew they still made these? Just was overwhelmed with the urge to buy them again today.)
Coping just fine, 😉 thanks for asking.
(Why, yes, that is SuperGuy’s extra large red wine glass. Why do you ask? I thought it appropriate to borrow it this week. It works great for Pinot Grigio, who knew??)
by Kay~Kacey on 8/18/2008
I look in the mirror. I’m not sure I know this woman I see. With the wisps of gray hair and are those wrinkles I see?
Where is the woman who was just holding this child? Scooping him up when he fell? Reading stories. Watching him fly down the hill on his Big Wheel and hoping he didn’t get hurt?
My hands that used to grasp his tiny hands? My hands are wrinkled now. Not a lot, but enough to let me know that they’ve lived. The hands have done a bazillion loads of laundry. They’ve picked up hundreds of Matchbox cars and Ninja Turtles. They’ve dried tears, and cleaned up skinned knees, and patted fevered foreheads.
I miss those little boy hugs. You know the ones? Where they wrap their arms around your neck so tightly you can barely breathe? Where have those all gone? How did the time fly by so quickly?
Was I not just taking this child to his first day of preschool? Did he not just learn to read? Score his first soccer goal? Learn to drive a car?
I have regrets. Things I wish I had done. I wish I’d spent more time with the boys, and less worrying about the house, or bills, or money or anything. I wish I’d put down my work, and sat and just listened to their laughter more often. I wish we had built more forts out of blankets and castles out of Legos. I wish I could have taken away the pain of their first broken hearts.
As the boys got older, I’ve taken back up hobbies that I had dropped in the exhaustion that is a mother of small boys. I slowly got back a part of me that wasn’t “mom”. But even that person had to shape her life around the demands of being a mother.
I’ve always been one of those moms willing to launch their children into the world. Be there for them, but encourage them to stand on their own two feet. Now my youngest leaves for college and it hurts. Honestly, I’m a mess. Even though I know he’s so ready for college and to be out on his own. I didn’t think I’d take it this hard.
So I stand here looking at the mirror and wonder. Who am I now? What will I become now that I’m not first and foremost a mom? How will I seize this life and make it into everything I want it to be? It’s actually kind of exciting…in a melancholy-the-world-is-changing way.
Who is that woman in the mirror?
