wine on the keyboard

Life, such that it is

Dad’s 90th

by Kay~Kacey on 2/16/2016

(Probably an all too honest post. I apologize, kind of, in advance.)

90 years. That’s a lot of years. Dad had his 90th birthday this week. We had a party, of course.

So much has changed in a year. Last year, Mom was there at Dad’s party, showing off her new room in the nursing home. Enjoying her grandbabies. Then, just a handful of days later, the doctor called me and said they were moving Mom to hospice. Then she was gone…

But we had the birthday party this year, in the same darn party room as last year.
It. Was. Hard.


They had Dad all dressed nicely, in a button-down shirt and khakis. Like…well, like everything was normal.


It’s not normal.

It’s not like those stupid commercials on TV where someone’s parent is kind of confused and the nice daughter gives her father some magic drug, hugs him, and everything is okay. It’s not like the brochures from all the Alzheimer’s nursing homes where everyone is smiles – no one screams, no one declines into a wheelchair, no one struggles to feed themselves, no one roams the halls all night, no one is lost and can’t find their room.

He struggles through each day. Some days kind of okay, some days horrible. Yet…it goes on.

But, for this day, his 90th, daughters, son-in-law, grandsons and wives, niece, and his sister-in-law, gathered to pretend everything was okay. Celebrate 90 years.

He was having a rare good couple of hours, which I was so thankful for.


Since I’m usually taking the photos, I’m usually not in them, but this year, my brother-in-law took some with me actually in them. I’ll treasure them. Karl, thank you so much for capturing these for me. I look at this photo, and can almost imagine he’s not trapped in the nightmare that is his life now. For this brief moment in time, he’s still my Dad, the patriarch, the strong man who was always there for me. The man who knew my name…


Dad recognized his brother’s wife, my Aunt Carol. So glad she could come. None of his friends visit him anymore. Alzheimer’s does that to friendships.


Here he is with his women. My sister, my niece who is a caretaker for him daily at the nursing home, and me. We all love this man fiercely.


My boys were there too…but somehow, i have no photos of them. I was just trying to get through the day. One step at a time.

After the party, I took Dad back to his room and got him settled in, then went back to the dining room and said goodbye to my boys. I went back to Dad’s room again to say goodbye, and he was fast asleep. I kissed him goodbye and it woke him up. He smiled and say hi like it was the first time he’d seen me that day.

I said “You had a really great birthday.”
“Yes, you’re 90. You had a great party.”
He said. “I did?”
“You did, Dad. The boys were in. Cheri and Karl were here. Aunt Carol. Chris. You got presents. We had your favorite pizza. You had cake.”
“Sounds fun.”

I told him he was the best father ever, and he drifted off to sleep.

I cried all the way home to Columbia. Alzheimer’s sucks.


Happy birthday, Dad. Just know you are loved by many.


Yet More Icy Life

by Kay~Kacey on 2/7/2014

More snow. More winter. But SuperGuy is having a great time.

plowing snow

He’s been busy plowing the driveway. The street. Anything with snow on it!

plowing snow

His truck got frozen in the ice storm. Like an hour to chip it open frozen.

frozen headlight

Since my car can’t make it out of our driveway or gravel road, we then moved my car out and put his truck in the garage.
frozen truck

Half of the garage is full of boxes that we’ve moved over from St. Louis. No place for them in the house until we get the lower level finished this spring. So, only one vehicle in the garage at once. I figure my car will be cleared off and ready to go sometime in the springtime…

frozen dodge ram truck

Yep, I’m so over winter. I just stay inside and write or take photos.

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Mothers Day Fun

by Kay~Kacey on 5/15/2013

We had a small gathering for Mother’s Day this year. Those pesky college finals got in the way of quite a few traveling home for Mother’s Day. We still had a great time.

We had Mother’s Day hugs. (that almost counts as a photo of my sister…)

The lovely Stephanie offered to host the BBQ this year…little does she know she might now be the designated Mother’s Day BBQ giver… I’m very quick to say “not it” these days… Thanks, Steph!!

We gave our Mom the “another photo??” look.

We drank champagne…

We drank beer…

And we told tall tales…probably about his toy John Deere tractor… it is about all he talks about these days… 😉

Anyway, we missed all you kids who couldn’t come to town…and Stephanie, we look forward to having it at your place again next year! 8)