Yes, I know I sometimes talk about our empty nest. It just sometimes hits me. Hard. Allow me to wallow a bit, okay?
Like when I caught the reflection of the basketball hoop on the hood of my car. The empty basketball hoop. With no net on it any longer and a rusted pole bravely holding it up, pretending that a gaggle of boys are going to come back, beg me to get a new net, and start playing outrageous games of hoops. Like H-O-R-S-E…only they spell out nasty body parts. Males. 🙄
Or like when I went to the store yesterday. A little boys was dancing his way into the store, clutching tightly to his mother’s hand. You know that little skip-jump thing that little boys do when they just are so excited about life? His mom smiled down at him, thank goodness. It would have so ruined my moment if she would have yelled at him to settle down.
Then I got jealous of another mom talking nonsense to her toddler as she unloaded her shopping cart. Sigh.
I wanted another baby. Right there. Right then.
I wanted those little moments back. Not the big, tremendous moments…the tiny ones. Walking out to the mailbox and a little one racing past me to get there first. Bath time with all the mess and splashes and toys. Rocking a restless baby back to sleep in the quiet of the early morning when it seemed like the universe consisted of just the two of us. Endless pushes on a swing. Sidewalk chalk pictures. Lego towers. A little boy falling asleep on my shoulder. I miss that. It all goes by so quickly.
All these memories rushing back because of a reflection on the hood of my car. Sigh.
The parts and pieces are scattered around my family room and hallway, soon to be taken away and used by another rowdy group of boys. Fighting over who gets the top bunk. Making forts out of it. Whispering to each other after the lights are out and they’re supposed to be going to sleep. Yes, I’m having a bit of a hard time with it, why do you ask??
